Quickly, we often connect to people unknown. We meet others in markets, sporting events, museums, malls, or at in other public contexts. Many we briefly meet to never see again. However, some may become friends. How do we define friendships? It is important for us to know what friendship means so that we can have good relationships with others. Many of us can describe enemies well as people we do not like, people we criticize or disrespect. Are friends people we like, people we praise and respect? And yet, there are different kinds of friendships aren’t there?
There are new friends whom are people we recently meet. We are often drawn to them not known why and decide to continue to communicate and interact with them in order to get to know them better. However, we may not identify new people we meet as friends in the future.
Exploratory friendships include people we are not sure able. We may have no decided whether we want these people as friends but we keep things open. We may test them continue to see if they merit further review or acceptance. Additionally, we may be in contact with others during a life transition and our connection with them may be part of a temporary support system. This type a friendship may also include someone we meet with or see from time to time but never really get to know well or plan activities with.
A tentative friendship may include people we become acquainted with at another location. Perhaps we are on a temporary assignment with a job or visiting for a short time at a particular location. Desiring companionship while away from home, we may allow ourselves to meet others. Tentative friendships can include new or exploratory friendships but since we will be leaving them, the friendship could be considered tentative. However, a tentative friendship can become more consistent if we decide to continue long distance contact or if either individual relocates in the vicinity of the other.
An Expanding friendship is no longer a tentative or exploratory. With these individuals we develop ongoing, closer relationships by meeting together consistently where disclosure continues and becomes deeper.
Expanding friendships can lead to intimate friendships. Through this type of friendship, we develop a very close bond. Essentially each person has adopted each other as supportive influences to each other. This type of friendship is honored and cherished and deepens through time.
Intimate friendships become romantic friendships when romantic feelings and sexual attraction are shared.
Spiritual friendships develop around spiritual concepts and ideas which become more important than any other activities or efforts. This type of friendship may include shared praying or reading of spiritual literature.
A false friendship is not a true friendship and includes a relationship where trust does not exist and miscommunication or dishonesty may be common. There may also be confusion, physical or emotional abuse associated with this type of relationship. This type of friendship is unhealthy and should be avoided.
Examing our current relationships is important for our well being. Knowing what types of friendships we have can help us plan for future changes as we encounter life changes. Good friendships require commitment and work. It is important that we have some friendships in our lives and that we allow people we trust to get to know us and become a part of our lives.


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